Regret is one of those emotions I used to struggle with a lot.  This one shows up the most in my relationships.  I wish I’d said something different.  I wish I’d made a different decision.  It’s all the feelings that come after doubting an action.  Under the feelings of regret are usually feelings of self-doubt.  Have you ever made a decision only to doubt whether or not you made the right choice?  Have you ever wished you’d made a different decision?  That’s regret, and it can hold us back in many ways.

Regret always creeps in as harmful self-talk.  In many ways, regret is kind of like blaming yourself for not doing a better job at something.  Whether that’s saying something you regret, or feeling like you missed out on a big opportunity.  Regret is like kicking yourself for messing up… even if you did your best in the moment.

Sometimes that regretful self-talk sounds like…

You shouldn’t have said that, you idiot!  Why’d you do this; you could’ve done better.  You had your chance and you missed it!  Why’d you walk away from that job/relationship/opportunity; you’re so stupid.

No matter how bashful your inner self-talk gets, you can process the feelings of regret, and transmute them into more kind and compassionate feelings toward yourself.  It all starts with acknowledging and processing your feelings of regret while tapping.

Start by rating how intensely you’re feeling regret.  Notice if you are feeling it anywhere in your body; a lump in your throat, a tightness in your chest, or a sinking feeling in your stomach.  Also bring up the specific event that you are feeling regretful about; a missed opportunity, an embarrassing moment, or the ending of something significant in your life.  Rate the intensity on a scale of 0-10.  0 being no feeling and 10 being extremely regretful.

KC: Even though I’m feeling all this regret, and I’m wondering if I did the right thing or not, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.

KC: Even though I’m experiencing all this regret, and I’m feeling like I missed out on something huge, I honor how I’m feeling and give my body permission to relax.

KC: Even though I feel all this regret about this situation, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.

EB: All this regret

SE: Did I do the right thing?
UE: Did I make the right decision?

UN: I feel like the other option was the better option.

CP: I keep going over what I could have done differently

CB: And it’s killing me inside.

UA: I’m regretting what happened.

TH: I feel so stupid.

EB: I keep telling myself I could’ve done something different.

SE: I could’ve said something better.

UE: I could’ve made a better decision.

UN: But instead, I’m stuck with this regret.

CP: I feel this regret in my body.

CB: I keep beating myself up over this.

UA: I know it’s over and done, but I still regret it.

TH: I keep wondering what my life would be like if I had done things differently

EB: If I’d taken the opportunity.

SE: If I’d said something better.

UE: If I’d stayed with that person.

UN: If I’d not made a fool of myself.

CP: I wonder how my life would feel if I didn’t have all these regrets.

CB: All this regret is weighing on me.

UA: It’s getting me nowhere

TH: I keep regretting my decisions and beating myself up.

EB: I feel so much regret about this.

SE: But I give my body permission to relax anyway

UE: It’s over and done

UN: I did the best I could in the moment

CP: There’s no point beating myself up about it now

CB: I choose to honor my decisions

UA: Knowing that I did the best I could

TH: This regret is just holding me back

EB: I choose to move forward.

SE: I choose to let go of some of this regret

UE: Maybe I’ll finally be able to move on

UN: I hate being so mean to myself

CP: About what I did or didn’t do

CB: I give myself permission to let go of this regret

UA: So I can make the most of this situation

TH: And move one

EB: Acknowledging the regret I feel

SE: And choosing to let it go

UE: Choosing to be more compassionate towards myself

UN: I did the best I could in the moment

CP: And I honor what I did

CB: Because I know that everything that’s happened is part of my journey

UA: What’s meant for me won’t pass me by

TH: Letting go of all this regret, and honoring my past actions