This little book by Shaunti Feldhahn is a true eye opener when it comes to relationships with men.  For Women Only explains the ins and outs of how men think, and what they need out of a relationship.

Although this book is supposed to reveal great insights on how the opposite gender thinks, I gained something more… I realized how much my brain is wired like a man!  By the time I finished this book, I learned in greater detail how men think, but also learned that I’m part of the small percentage of women who think a little differently.

Regardless, I’m excited to share my takeaway as a woman who thinks like a man.

Before I picked up this book, I was doing some reflecting on relationships.  I came to a conclusion that one of the things I that needed in any type of relationship is respect.  Then I read For Women Only, and I immediately started laughing!  Turns out I’m not alone in terms of needing respect in a relationship, I’m just more alone being a woman who needs respect in a relationship.

Shaunti Feldhahn has been conducting research about how men really feel about different aspects of relationships through surveys.  These surveys were answered by men of all ages, relationship statuses, and religious beliefs.

One of her surveys asked men to chose one of two negative experiences they’d rather endure.   The options were, would you rather feel alone and unloved, or inadequate and disrespected?  Turns out 3 out of 4 men would rather feel unloved than disrespected.

“Anger is often a man’s response to feeling disrespected.”

The thing is, respect is a sign of love for men (and me, haha).  When we don’t feel respected, we don’t feel loved.  And if we feel disrespected, we often get angry.  I don’t know how many times I’ve felt unloved or angry because someone made me feel inadequate and disrespected.  They are one in the same.

The takeaway of this chapter is, your man is going to feel loved if you respect him.  Feldhahn gives you some great insights to help you respect your man, and in turn, make him feel more loved because of it.

“They are going to find me out!”

Confident on the outside, imposter on the inside.  Yep, turns out, that’s how most men feel about themselves.

Funny thing is, that’s how I feel sometimes.  Although I’m a very determined person who doesn’t shy away from new situations, most of the time I have this insecurity that someone is going to tell me I’m completely clueless.

For Women Only explains that men can feel like imposters at work and at home.  That’s why it’s important that the women in their lives help make them feel more adequate at home.  Shaunti goes on to explain ways you can help your man feel less like an imposter, and give him the affirmation that he can indeed conquer whatever he puts his mind to.

The third and final thing I related to in For Women Only was the chapter on providing.  Men have a deep rooted need to be providers.

“Men feel powerful when they provide.  And they want to be depended on.”

This need to provide is both a burden to men, but also a highly desirable goal.  I can relate in the sense that I’m almost always thinking about ways I can provide for myself.  Part of me wishes I could be content having someone else provide for me, but part of me is so motivated and rewarded when I’m providing for myself.  Apparently this is a struggle most men relate to.

Feldhahn goes in depth about how you can support your man in fulfilling his needs to provide in For Women Only.

Besides the three chapters of this book that I related to, and chuckled about while reading, the remaining chapters of this book contained some very helpful information about how men think.

“Men want to go out and do things together with their wives, and they view that as incredibly romantic.”

These chapters included:

• Why men need time to process things before communicating.
• Why sex is so important to men.
• The visual wiring of a male brain.
• What men consider romantic.
• And Why what’s on the outside matters to him on the inside.

For Women Only is such an informative read.  Whether you want to discover how you can strengthen your connection with the man in your life, or if you’re just genuinely curious about how men think, this book is for you.   Click here to get your copy of For Women Only.

Shaunti Feldhahn has also written a book called For Men Only.  This book helps men understand women better.  Give a copy to the man in your life for an even deeper understanding of each other.